Teamwork in Marriage. - Porsha Carr Blog

Teamwork in Marriage.

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Becoming a team isn’t usually our primary reason for getting married. Hopefully, that’s love, and a desire to spend the rest of your life with your partner. But, there’s a reason that we call them partners, and becoming a team is often a nice bonus. Suddenly you aren’t going it alone in the world. There’s always someone else in your team. Someone to stand by you, to cheer you on and to offer you unwavering support. You are no longer solely responsible for your home, children, finances, or other aspects of your life. You are part of a team. 

But, while living as a team can be wonderful, and have many advantages, it’s not something that comes easily to all of us. Some people are fiercely independent and struggle to let other people in. They don’t like giving anyone else responsibility for their happiness. Others just have no experience of living in a team and don’t feel quite sure of how to do it. Even those of us that do work as a capable team most of the time, sometimes find it hard. Let’s take a look at some ways to keep your team going strong, even through the tough times. 

Don’t Insist on a 50/50 Split

You could spend time working it all out. He earns 60% of the household income, so he only needs to take on 40% of the household chores. You do 75% of the childcare, so he needs to do any extra jobs that come along. You could even try to split everything straight down the middle, with a “housekeeping” money pot to cover any financial difference. 

But that isn’t how teams work. Think of the best sports team. They don’t all do exactly the same job. They don’t have an effort quota, that they can stop when they reach. Teamwork is about pulling together. 

If one of you works more hours than the other, it’s fair to split childcare or household chores so that whoever is home more does more. But, that’s not always how it works. Find a split that works for you, be flexible when you need to, and don’t worry about what other teams are doing. 

Support Each Other

Life isn’t always perfect. Marriage isn’t just for the good times. To be an effective team, you need to support each other through hard times. Sometimes, you’ll have to put your own needs aside to help your partner, knowing that they will one day do the same for you. You might need partner support counselling or other outside help, and that’s fine. But you should always try to understand and support your teammate, even if it means putting your own needs aside for a while. 

Be Each Other's Cheerleaders

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The world can be a harsh place. Teammates don’t just support and help each other. They also cheer for each other. There’ll be times in your partnership that you have solo tasks and challenges, your partner might not be able to help you, but they can always cheer for you

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