4 Ways To Get Better At Dating. - Porsha Carr Blog

4 Ways To Get Better At Dating.

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It’s a crazy, fast-paced and hectic world out there. For most of us trying to navigate the path of adulthood while mastering our careers and making enough to scrape by in an age where everything is cripplingly expensive, finding love can be a real challenge. When we’re working longer and harder than ever and trying to scrape together something resembling a social life, the very notion of trying to find that special someone can seem like a logistical minefield. But fear not! If you’ve been unlucky in love or rarely have time to seek it out there is help. Here are some tips to help even the most time-poor singleton to reverse their fortunes and get better at dating…
Find your niche

Mobile apps can be a great way for single people who rarely have time to get out and meet people to find a potential suitor. But Tinder is rarely the place to find Mr or Ms Right. It helps if you can narrow the pool to people with whom you share common interests, attitudes, values or cultural touchstones. For example, those of Arabic descent might want to try Arab Lounge, those of a geeky disposition might want to give Dragonfruit a try. While variety is the spice of life, it helps if you can start on some common ground. 

Know what to do on the first date

The first date is the lynchpin on which your immediate future rests. Get that right and everything else might not necessarily be all wine and roses… but it certainly gets a lot easier. There are lots of places where you can go to get to know each other and celebrate whatever it is you have in common without needing to feel intimidated or socially uncomfortable.  

Approach the first date on terms that you can be comfortable with or you can’t possibly hope to show your best self. Here are some non-intimidating first date ideas

Stay out of your head and enjoy their company

You may be looking for the love of your life… but love doesn’t come perfectly packaged with a big bow wrapped around it. It needs to be shaped and sculpted over time by your experiences together. With that in mind, try to stay out of your head when spending time with that potentially special someone. It’s easy to fall into the trap of drifting away while they’re telling you about themselves and start mapping out your potential life together-deciding what flavor wedding cake you’d like and what color to dress your bridesmaids in… but try and get out of your head. 

Forward planning is important in relationships, for sure, but for the early days just focus on enjoying their company. The rest will follow naturally enough.

Be honest about who you are and what you want

Finally, in the early days of dating, it can be extremely tempting to be whoever the other person wants us to be, especially if we really like them. But this mentality can be highly counterproductive and eventually lead to bitterness and resentment down the line. Don’t tow the line, but don’t be dishonest about your hopes and expectations, either. 

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