6 Issues that Every New Mom Faces and How to Deal with Them - Porsha Carr Blog

6 Issues that Every New Mom Faces and How to Deal with Them

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Becoming a parent is the most life-changing event that you will probably ever experience. You will experience significant changes to every aspect of your life, physically, emotionally, as well as changes to your lifestyle. During your pregnancy, you may have tried to prepare yourself for the arrival of your little one by attending parentcraft classes and reading books about pregnancy, birth, and parenting. Most moms find that while this information is valuable, nothing can truly prepare you for when your little person arrives in your life. 

Whether you are having your first, second, third or fourth baby, every mom with a newborn baby experiences the same issues. This means that however you are feeling right now, you can be sure that there is another mom out there feeling the same way. As you navigate this first part of your journey into parenthood, you will probably find yourself facing some of the common issues experienced by many new parents. 

Dealing with Tiredness

Ask any new mom how they are feeling, and the answer will usually be one word: Tired! Your little one is not yet familiar with the concept of daytime and nighttime, and couple that with their need to feed often, and you will discover that there is very little time for sleeping. While lack of sleep may be the norm for new parents, this fact alone doesn’t make it easier to deal with. 

When you have had a tough night without much sleep, you must rest as much as you can during the day. If your partner is home, ask them to watch the baby so that you can get some rest, even if it is just a power nap. You could also try staggering your sleep so that one of you stays up later in the night and does the first ‘shift’ while the other one sleeps, and then swap over. This should help you each to get a few hours of sleep every night. 

If you are unable to sleep, then try a cup of coffee and a shower to wake you up a bit. This should help you to feel refreshed and a bit more human again.

Not Knowing What Baby Wants

The life of a parent would be so much easier if babies could speak! Unfortunately, they can’t which may leave you wondering exactly what it is that they want when they are crying. It’s easy to feel frustrated when you can’t work out what your baby wants, and you feel like you haven’t slept in a decade. Try to stay calm; babies can pick up on tension, which is likely to make them feel even more unsettled. Start by addressing all the usual reasons for crying; feeling hungry, in need of a diaper change, feeling tired. Sometimes your baby needs to sleep, so settling them should help. As you get to know your baby you will probably be able to distinguish between a baby overtired vs undertired situation, so will know how to handle each situation.

If none of these options works, it may be that your baby wants to be held. The newborn stage is often referred to as the fourth trimester, as it is a time of adjustment from being in the cozy confines of the womb, to suddenly arriving in the world, which is full of sights, sounds, and smells that they are unfamiliar with.

Unsolicited Advice

For some reason being pregnant and having a baby seems to make people feel the need to share their wisdom with you, whether you ask for it or not. From strangers in the store stroking your pregnant belly and commenting on its size, through to people criticizing how you feed your baby - everyone has an opinion! 

While this advice is probably well-intentioned, it is still pretty annoying! Try not to let it get you down, as many moms experience this very same interference. If you have older relatives giving you advice, you will need to keep in mind that medical guidelines have probably changed since they had children. Therefore, their advice may not be consistent with current information given to you by medical professionals.

Pressure to Get Back in Shape

Caring for a newborn baby is a full-on job, and will completely shake up your priorities. Things that used to bother you may not seem so important anymore. 

Nowadays, social media and gossip magazines are full of photos of celebrities that have recently had babies. Often you will see people commenting on how amazing they look, how flat their stomach is even though they have just given birth. When you have recently had a baby, these sorts of comments can leave you feeling bad about yourself. You may feel under pressure to fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes. You may be left wondering why you haven’t snapped back into shape like the celebrities. Don’t put yourself under pressure to look a certain way. There is no right or wrong way to look after having a baby, everybody is different, and every body is different too. 

Pregnancy, birth and the postpartum stage all bring considerable changes to your body, so putting pressure on yourself is the last thing you should be doing. Take care of yourself to keep your energy levels up, and so that you stay healthy, but don’t beat yourself up over your appearance. 

Feeling Lonely

Having a new baby brings enormous lifestyle changes. These changes can be hard to adjust to if you are used to getting out and about and doing your own thing. If you were very career-focused or sporty before pregnancy, then this can make the changes harder to get used to. 

Some women feel lonely and a little isolated after having a baby. If you feel this way, it is useful to try and get out and about with your baby when you can. Meeting up with other moms is a great help, as they are likely to feel the same way as you do. Mom friends can make such a big difference to your life when you have a baby and are a great way to get some adult conversation into your day. 

Look out for clubs and classes in your area that are suitable for babies too. These are a great way of meeting other parents as well as stimulating for your baby. It’s the perfect way to socialize your baby and getting them used to being around other little ones.

If you are suffering from low mood or are in any way concerned about how you are feeling since having your baby, then don’t suffer in silence. It is essential to seek medical advice about the way that you feel so that you can get the help that you need.

Mom Guilt

The problem with parenting is that no one knows if they are doing it right. Everyone has a unique style of child-rearing, and every child is different, so there are no set rules. Many moms question their parenting abilities, and there will be times when you feel like you are a bad mom, and second guess yourself. When these moments of self-doubt strike try not to dwell on them, ask yourself if your child is happy, and ask yourself is you are doing your best. If the answers are yes to questions, then you are probably doing a great job!

Mom guilt strikes every mom every so often. Remind yourself that the very reason that you get it is that you care so much.

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